I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
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There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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