I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize