I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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