true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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