what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
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I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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