my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize