my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
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craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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