I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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