Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize