Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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