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Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Michael Bay diarrhea
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Randomize
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