His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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