made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize