i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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