you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize