Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize