There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
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The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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