Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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