Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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