Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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