He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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