chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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