i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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