He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
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I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
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Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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