So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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