my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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