he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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