where does the pee come out of this thing
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize