i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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