He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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