DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize