their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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