2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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