I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize