I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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