I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize