Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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