my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
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I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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