How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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