the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize