he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize