In the future we'll all be gay
We're facebook friends in real life
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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