I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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