On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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