sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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