I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
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Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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