Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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