When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize