like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize