you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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